Thoughts on Being Single and Childless at Thirty-Four

Mieko Kawakami’s novel ‘Breasts and Eggs’ prompted a near existential crisis

‘Breasts and Eggs’ Impact

The first book in Breasts and Eggs prompted thoughts about aging, from puberty to the changes in women’s bodies as we go through motherhood and age. I thought about my journey through growing up, the stigma attached to puberty and monthly cycles, and the lack of conversations about these changes.

  • Is it selfish to want a relationship and family, or are we just following traditional norms set out for us over centuries?
  • Why are some children brought into the world by loving parents, but others experience violence from the get-go?

Thoughts about relationships

I’m generally an introverted homebody who would prefer to meet someone organically than be set up or scour online apps. Of course, COVID put the kibosh on any opportunity to meet someone organically, so dating apps is it for now.

Thoughts about motherhood

At 34, I’m closing in on an age where I can have a child of my own. I don’t have a long-term partner, nor the financial resources to 1. pay for a donor and IVF or 2. support a child once it’s here.

Thoughts about societal expectations

It’s generally expected in America that you go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a good job, get married, and have kids. Sure, millennials and Gen Z are shifting expectations, but it’s still shocking to many that couples don’t want kids or women don’t want to get married.

Final thoughts

I’m sure I’m not the only mid-thirties woman with these thoughts or experiences. Perhaps my introspections and personal stories will help you feel a little less alone in your journey.

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