There’s a worldwide pandemic (and no, it’s not COVID-19). It’s our mindset.
It’s entitlement. It’s selfish thoughts. It’s a level of narcissism that is astounding, given the current crisis and world climate.
The uncaring and foolish behavior and lack of empathy for other people floor me. Instead of focusing on the greater good, some are claiming infringement of their rights. In a greater sense, I understand the thought process behind it. But right now, it’s about protecting our community.
And while I can’t make any excuses for the radical behavior exhibited by followers of the man in charge, based on the observations of those around me, I can see where it starts.
From my observations, what it comes down to is our mindset and how we think. Many people don’t realize that each person on this earth processes their thoughts and feelings in different ways.
While someone is calm and collected on the outside, they’re quietly screaming with fear and frustration.
While someone seems to be planning for the future, they’re inwardly taking each moment as it comes because that’s all they can handle.
But someone else might be straight-up business professional, relying on short, impersonal interactions because that’s all they can do to keep it together for themselves.
And to you, it might feel like this person is unfeeling, rude, or might have something against you. I can understand that. It took a lot of time and work around mindset to stop the anxiety around what others think of me. To stop fearing the worst and focus on what I’m doing instead of thinking up worst-case scenarios and imagining what I did wrong.
No matter your interaction with someone, whether colleague, friend, or family, you need to realize that it’s not about you.
Circumstances and thoughts
Almost every time I thought that I had done something wrong, that someone was rude to me for some unknown reason, I realized that it had nothing to do with me. It was almost always due to another circumstance in the other person’s life.
And once I realized that my entire life changed. I became happier, more focused on my work and life.
It’s a circumstance. Everything is.
And what I may or may not feel is entirely related to my thoughts about it. So if I can change my thought pattern around those circumstances, then I’ll change how I feel, which affects my actions, and ultimately impacts my results.
So that awkwardness you’re feeling, that tension, that shortness or borderline rude behavior someone is exhibiting toward you — it honestly has nothing to do with you. It’s a circumstance.
People are handling their thoughts, their fears, and their anxieties about this pandemic, economic downturn, quarantine, and possible job loss in their way. How you feel about it, and about the things they’re doing or saying is entirely based on your thoughts.
I’ve been following a few life coaches for some time now, and both Natalie Bacon and her mentor Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School talk about this self-coaching model that helped me put everything in my life into perspective.
This model shows that circumstances are neutral and:
- Your thoughts about the situation create your feelings
- Your feelings create your actions
- Your actions create your results
The circumstance is neutral — everything that follows stems from your thoughts about it.
Shift your mindset, recognize and change your thoughts, and you change your results.
And it works.
It’s not about you
I’m happier now. I don’t have the crushing social anxiety that once dominated my life. I’m more focused on the things I’m doing and how I’m responding to circumstances.
Some may say that’s selfish, but it’s not. What’s selfish is thinking that every word and action spoken or done by someone is an attack on me.
Once you let go of those thoughts, happiness will abound.
So remember- it’s not about you. No one is mad at you. The tension and awkwardness are 100% created by your thoughts about the circumstance.
And even if it is about you:
What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them — Jen Sincero